Soutenir

It's 11:30pm and I just read a few things that absolutely broke my heart so basically I'm in a fragile state and I just really need to get this out there..

To anyone out there, anyone, my readers, friends, peers, even if we don't know each other, please know that I'm here for you. I know that's generic and everyone says it but I'm a person who will be there for you no matter what has happened or what you've done. In most cases, anyway. If you've murdered someone then obviously that won't apply..

I'm here if you need someone to talk to or if you don't have anyone at all. No one deserves to go through a hardship alone without any support. And I know that reading something on the internet may have no effect on you and may not mean anything, but I promise you that I sincerely mean every word I'm saying.

Please, PLEASE, know that there are better and more sufficient ways to deal with pain than through self-harm. That physical pain only makes you forget about your emotional troubles for a fraction of a second. Don't ruin your beautiful skin over something that you don't even deserve to be affected by.

Believe me, I've been through tough ass fucking times. I hide a hell of a lot more than I show. And yes, I've thought about physically harming myself. I've thought about taking my own life. But I could never bring myself to actually do either of those things. It wasn't just the fear of the pain, it was the possible consequences that I would have to suffer when my friends and family found out, whether I was there or not. I'm selfish like every other human being, but I'm not that selfish.

Ask yourself. Think. When, I say when and not if because someone will eventually find out, a family member or a friend sees that mark, how do you think they're going to feel? They're going to feel like absolute shit. The only reason I know this is because I'm in that position right now and it is honestly one of the most horrible feelings in the world. They're going to feel stupid, ignorant. That if they'd bothered to pay more attention, maybe they could've stopped you or helped you. They'll feel like they're not enough, not trustworthy, because you couldn't confide in them and speak to them about what you're going through.

When you hurt yourself, you're also hurting everyone that loves you. And don't you dare think or say that nobody cares. I promise you that there is at least one person out there who loves and cares about you. You deserve to be loved, you deserved to be cared for and you deserve happiness. Everyone does.

You're stronger than you think. I know that 'pain demands to be felt', but there is nothing in this world you can't overcome. You may feel weak now and that everything just seems to be going downhill, but things always have to get worse before they get better. I understand if all you want to do is just sit and be miserable because you feel like nothing can make it okay. I did too. But I got up, left every negative thing behind and moved on. There is nothing better than looking back and realising that I became independent and made my own happiness. 

So have some faith in yourself. BELIEVE in yourself. Stand up, let go of anything and everything that causes you pain and if you want to be happy, then be. The only way is forward.

Don't forget to smile today.

k x